WHISKY:

                 Sandy once attended a Temperance lecture given by
                 Scotland's top medical man, a noted anti-drink campaigner.
                 The speaker began by placing a live, wriggling worm in a glass of whisky.
                 After a  moment or two it died and sank to the bottom.
                 The speaker said quietly to the audience, "Now my
                 friends, what does this tell us?"
                 Sandy piped up, "If you drink whisky you'll not be bothered
                 by worms!"

                 MacNab was travelling by train seated next to a stern-faced
                 clergyman. As McNab pulled out a bottle of whisky from
                 his pocket the clergyman glared and said reprovingly,
                 "Look here, I am sixty-five and I have never tasted whisky in my life!"
                 "Dinna worry, Minister," smiled McNab, pouring himself a
                 dram. "There's no risk of you starting now!"


                 Jock (anxiously): "You'll have to help me Doctor McTavish
                 - I can't stop stealing things.

                 Dr. McTavish: "Take two of these pills after meals.

                 Jock: "What happens if they don't work?"

                 Dr. McTavish: "Get me a crate of Scotch."
 MONEY:
                At an auction in Glasgow a wealthy American announced that he had
                 lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward
                 of £100 to  the person who found it.
                 From the back of the hall a Scottish voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

                 A salesman was trying to sell MacNab a suit. "Remember,
                 sir," he  told him, "there's an extra pair of trousers with this suit."
                 "Throw in an extra jacket and it's a deal," said MacNab.

 
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